Saturday, March 24, 2012

Pain Cave

No training for a whole week . A real rarity.

After my release from Hospital on Monday , I have just rested .It was back to work on Tuesday. The skin is still very raw and the left arm is weak and painful.otherwise everything is healing.

It is tough doing nothing and the arm is the real worry.  There is no torn tendons or muscles. just swelling and weakness. Patience is not an attribute I am endowed with .

With the pain unfortunately sleep has been difficult . But everyone including my Doctor has just counselled patience and I will have to take fairly small steps . Riding may still be a problem if the arm remains weak and I may only manage sessions on the wind trainer as it will be a more controlled environment.

The scar is healing well and hopefully I will be able to return to swimming next week if the arm is strong enough.

What the week has left me is a perspective .It is not good nor bad. Life goes on and there are throw away quotes for such events , the most common and a great song for motivation , What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. It is glib and  it is good motivation fodder.  Reality is I am where I am . I  just have to get on with bearing the pain , the recovery and hope for the best.

Possibly having positive thoughts may unscientifically hasten the healing process. Fighting through the pain as well but  possibly not. What it does do is creates a new experience and as no one wishes injury on themselves ,  it is just the reality . We all will have some form of trauma visited on us both physical and mental.It is part of living.

Whilst there is no comparison , Christopher Hitchens death from cancer and his writing about it is an interesting look at life and the reality of the quote "whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger"

This week Jim Stynes a Football legend in the Melbourne Football Club (Australian Rules died and his life personified that desire to live even as the disease weakened him. He tried all manner of therapies and prolonged his life . Ultimately , if he gave up would he have gone quicker , I do not know. What is clear from the blurbs of print and newsreels is that he put in a lot into his relatively short life.He personified what he was on the sports field and that translated in his post sporting life. He was remembered for being a good man and fighting to the end.

Friedrich Nietzsche who is credited with the song title"whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger " may actually be just a lot of drivel and just a nice motivational one liner. Ultimately , after this week it is far better to take what is thrown at you and at least try to live life to the best of your ability , with that mental attitude of picking yourself up and getting on with it.

As Christopher Hitchens in his confrontation with death writes , Nietzsche's words sound better in German but they are what they are:

And then once or twice, walking away from a car wreck or a close encounter with mayhem while doing foreign reporting, I experienced a rather fatuous feeling of having been toughened by the encounter. But really, that’s to say no more than “There but for the grace of god go I,” which in turn is to say no more than “The grace of god has happily embraced me and skipped that unfortunate other man.”Trial of the Will January 2012 Vanity Fair

I count my blessings and hope as the song and Nietzsche suggest , it will make me stronger but reality is as Hitchen's writes so eloquently ..."The grace of God has happily embraced me ...".