Murray Street Mall at the end of run on a weekday In August
John Forrest NP August Long Run
John Forrest Park Falls August Run
Kings Park in the evening after run
It has been 8 months since Delirious and I have had a 4 month break from running .I started my training again at the end of July with a slow return to running. It has been good to have a break.What has continued uninterpreted has been meditation.Increasing the time spent meditating to at-least an hour a day.Partly on my commute and then at lunch and in the evening.
Starting with 7 hours of running with a 2 hour run in the hills and building slowly in August to 4 hour run and 75km in a week with an easy week after 3 weeks.
In September the training really started to mount with the plan to do a long run at the end of the month on a Long weekend from 24 September to 25 September 2022.
The long run on the 24 September was a good test .Had a heavy pack as I had all my bars and food. I started at 7am with Lindsay and Judy running with me to Helena .That was 11 km from Perth Discovery centre. I then continued to Waleigh and Beraking Shelters where I had water from the tanks and a break . From Beraking there was a diversion because of the back burns and so there was no shelters accept for a temporary open camp with a toilet and some cans of water. That was about 45km into the run and then I turned at about 55km and then worked my way back to Beraking with the Intention of having a short sleep .I got to Beraking at about midnight and it was cold I had slowed the amount of fluid I was consuming as well as food but felt OK .I had a survival body bag I was hoping would keep me warm in the shelter but it did nothing .The temperature was about 7C but felt colder. There were 2 hikers in the shelter and unfortunately my rolling in the body bag probably woke them up.By 1am I decided to just keep moving so filled up my flask and headed back on the bib to Discovery Centre. It got light by 6am and I managed to get back about 9.30am .I was exhausted and with the cold and lack of sleep hallucinating a bit. But it was a good test I know the amount of fluid I have to take even on a cold night.I think if I can keep up to 35gms of Carbohydrates per hour I will be good. Even the salt intake seem ok.
Briefly I started training for a miler in November 2020 with a Mindfocus Running course with Rob learning to meditate .This has mushroomed into a concious daily exercise of at least an hour a day and I have done a few coursera courses including Buddhism and Psychology by Robert Wright .That was very instructional in explaining some scientific basis for the buddhist view of the mind and meditation.
I then on 1 April did a 3 day course at the Jhana Grove Meditation centre .Had a lot of opportunity to meditate and learn about meditation.
These are just some of my notes on the weekend and the 2 sessions recorded and on the Buddhist Society of WA You Tube site.
At the Buddhist retreat I attended 1-3 April 2022 at the Jhana Grove meditation Center at Serpentine I managed to increase the amount of meditation I would do.For the week I managed 14 hours .
Lessons learnt in Meditation and trying to reach the deep meditations or Jhanas all aim for
practice , practice and more practice.It will not always be perfect .Learn loving kindness or metta for your self .
Have compassion and loving kindness for self not forced meditation
follow the 8 fold path
The Noble Eightfold Path
Right understanding (Samma ditthi)Right thought (Samma sankappa)
Right speech (Samma vaca)
Right action (Samma kammanta)
Right livelihood (Samma ajiva)
Right effort (Samma vayama)
Right mindfulness (Samma sati)
Right concentration (Samma samadhi)
Practically the whole teaching of the Buddha, to which he devoted
himself during 45 years, deals in some way or other with this path. He
explained it in different ways and in different words to different
people, according to the stage of their development and their capacity
to understand and follow him. But the essence of those many thousand
discourses scattered in the Buddhist scriptures is found in the noble
eightfold path
(see the article on Tricycle The Noble Eightfold Path ,The Buddha’s practical instructions to reach the end of suffering By Walpola Sri Rahula)
live a wholesome and virtuous life , as a drug dealer can't reach the deep levels of meditation bliss
be in the moment
do everything mindfully leads to doing your best in everything
Ajahn Chah "always put 100% in everything you do"
Ok to be sad , angry and cry in the moment but not dwell on it ,always learn to let go
no quick way to samardhi
try all techniques ...there is no one path to mindfulness meditation
Ajahn Santuthi mentione an often cited story of Ajahn Chah ( Ajahn Branhm mentor and teacher is the Mango tree analogy , monastics have to wait for the mango hanging on the tree to fall to the ground not climb the tree Takes time to reach jhana or deep meditation states
In the oldest texts of Buddhism, dhyāna (Sanskrit: ध्यान) or jhāna (Pāḷi: झान) is the training of the mind, commonly translated as meditation, to withdraw the mind from the automatic responses to sense-impressions, and leading to a "state of perfect equanimity and awareness (upekkhā-sati-parisuddhi)."[1]Dhyāna may have been the core practice of pre-sectarian Buddhism, in combination with several related practices which together lead to perfected mindfulness and detachment.[2][3][4]
The journey I started in November 2020 with MFR and Rob culminated at Delirious 200 miler on 9 February 2022.Regardless of the outcome like life there is no finality and there is no end . Everything is impermanent . This like life is not a fairy story .It is the perception of my mind whether I finished the race , DNF or anything else ,it is my own single and very inaccurate perception .That is why in Buddhism , everything is an illusion as we see the world from the prism of our really inaccurate malfunctioning mind.
I did not finish . I DNFed at 120km into a 340 km run . Nearly 15 months of preparation .There is failure, sense of loss ,even despair. My ego damaged . But quite the opposite. I had nothing but a sense of thankfulness, appreciation and love for all around me. I had no feeling .There were moments of regret and sadness but they did not last long and is the remnant of my old ego bound individual self. If I was frank that which I cling to,desire , the source of suffering at least in Buddhist Dharma is something I cannot completely let go hence the pangs of failure as I am human .I have the feelings which is what the Buddhist called Dhukka because we follow the 3 poisons of delusions desires and attachments. The attachment is to attach value of self because of achievement . But in the past months I have learnt more then running .I understand the suffering and leaning into it especially when running such distances . I had faced it and knew I could . I also knew I did not have to do it at all cost as I had no desire other then my own journey to test my self in that cauldron of suffering .
This is a race report about failing to finish but really fundamentally for me it is a learning about what it is to be alive to be human .I have fallen into a group of people , ultra runners who share the joy and love of running long distances who care for each other, who fundamentally have a love for the sport that encapsulates what it is to be human enjoying our environment, caring for it and looking out for each other and supporting each other no matter what.Here is a microcosm of what it is to be a good human being if we could share this with the rest of the world. That is a small lesson taken from the week of experience.
Had I finished the emphasis would have been about achievement . But I learnt more seeing everyone deal with their demons and difficulties .I had to deal with mine . I learnt much and I think I have grown
.
But each race report has a beginning.This starts post Feral 100 miler with a decision as to whether to give Delirious a go. It took a month to decide as I knew it would be hard.Did I want to make the commitment.Could I get crew and pacers and the logistics of such a big event.All these concerns . But I knew fundamentally , I had to give it a go if only to confront my own character.testing it and to leave my ego and be willing to fail.It is easy to not try for fear of damaging my ego and my misguided view of how the world will see me. But here we have this very Buddhist view of the 3 poisons. I did not set out to fail but knew lots had to go well for the race to come together perfectly .yet I knew what I needed to do having paced half the race in October.
I knew my shortcomings and my strengths. But life is about the challenges one faces but more importantly how we conduct ourselves and face these challenges. There was always doubts about running such a daunting distance but the past year of training and meditation has taught me that I have nothing to fear but the fear of ego and failure . My only doubt after Feral was nutrition which I had never mastered . Unlike all the other aspects of the race , I felt least prepared when it came to nutrition.
This became the main issue again.But starting from the beginning is the Planning.I had a Race Plan which was adapted from Jonathan's very detailed plan.I had listed all the nutrition, clothing changes and had dropped bags as well.
There was organizing the crew and caravan .I felt quietly confident having planned as best I could.The drive down on Tuesday was pretty straight forward and I for once did not feel nervous before a race .Like Feral I had come to a peace in my mind. I had some great friends helping in the support crew .I was filled with gratitude . I would never dream I would be giving this a go.
The race and my pacing was pretty much as planned from the beginning and up to about 54km or Dog Road Aid station I was doing well.As the day wore on and there was the afternoon stretch trough the Pingurup plain which was just low bush with no tree cover where I suspect I probably did not have enough calories and then as the day moved to night and the temperature dropped I tried to fill myself thinking I needed more nutrition as I could see my energy levels drop.Unfortunately that was counter productive as I tried to get to Broke Inlet i started to throw up .This would have been at about 90-95km into the race .i got to Broke Inlet with Jonathan and Lindsay walking out to meet me for the last 3-4 km and had a 2 hour sleep a change of clothes and that helped a lot. Got some food down ...not sure what and felt good for the first 5-8 km before again feeling the energy go and finding it hard to stomach anything . Managed to hget to Mandalay Aid station about 110 km in and again had an hours break .It was warm and started off on the sand and it just progressively got harder with just no energy to move up the dunes. I made he hard decision to turn around as I did not want to collapse and create a problem for the RDs . Again physically i had no issues other then my nutrition intake and my gut not tolerating food. I knew I would regret the decision but as the weeks rolled in months post race I have found peace with the choices and accepting that I run for no one other then myself .I do not do this for ego and in the vacuum of no self and no feeling , the race is despite the issues that arose a joyous experience .It is personal and so much more then finishing or distance.
It has been a15 month journey with Rob and the MFR Sangha ...after 4 months of rest and lots of contemplation I have learnt much . I may not be or have not developed as a runner .I am certainly not faster then 5 years ago but I think I have become a better human being for the experience.
“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
King's Park Perth November 2021
The year 2021 . Another year of control, restraint ,closed borders and uncertainty and lots of worry . For West Australians we have been fortunate . The border closure and restrictions have to some degree set a different tangent of outcomes. I was certain of my position and views .I have now tempered my views .They have not changed but my compassion and understanding of others has.
Without rehashing the whole year of training and discovery which are set out in the blog , I have set out below some valuable lessons .
I have tried to distill the main points I think I have learnt about myself in this journey we call life this year .Not to look back or forward but to understand .
Aside from finally doing a miler ,the main lesson or revelation has been Meditation.After Wild Goose Chase 100km in June I started to meditate more and even up to an hour a day spread out over the day.Some sessions troubled with thoughts others sheer moments of emptiness of thought and bliss in that I had no thought , no feeling , no worry , no concern.The revelation has been as I meditated more the more I felt at ease with everything.The stress of the day , of life seems to have melted away ,at least for the moment and I seemed to have an inner peace to deal with greater clarity anything in front of me.
I learnt a new word...Equanimity .I learnt to not take everything to heart , to react to let every action, thought comment consumed me. In a way , to disassociate from everything but still be connected seems to be the way . To recognize we are all the same energy .
I began to subscribed to Tricycle and started listening to the Secular Buddhist
( thank you Chailee) . Rob then suggested listening to Ajahn Brahm and I found the WA Buddhist Society and lots of dharma talks and guided meditations. I read Shinzen Youngs Book the Science of Enlightenment ( well had in on an audio file) It is a work in progress as having had the book read , it needs more then one reading for the understanding to sink in. But it has helped.
I did the Coursera Yale course the Science of Happiness at the beginning of the year and it more or less reinforced all the concepts I was picking up .Meditation , and many other helpful hints to deal with life in the course there was a suggestion to keep a gratitude journal which I did for a short while and will return to that in the new year.
Being Conscious of the moment
The main lesson is to live ,conscious of the moment ,the here and now.The past is a memory it is tampered by our unreliable mind and the future is not here. By living in the moment we are enjoying what we have in the now. As one of the many talks I have heard , we can never dip our feet in the same river . To be in the moment is what we should strive for and meditation helps with that.
I have reoriented my goals . Running has not been about winning . I have always been a back of the pack athlete but it was about striving for goals.I realized that I it just made the exercise tiresome and one dimensional. All along I could have been enjoying the total experience of the exercise rather then focused on a time , a result.Its like striving to identify a new insect whilst missing the beauty of the insect or nature.Both reasonable quest but one certainly more inspiring and revealing then the other.
I have learnt to be less judgmental ...On myself and others.In the past I would determine what is good and what is bad. The world has both and more so mixtures of both in all . Whether it is in professional or social life there is no one dimension of the cartoon good vs evil. I have had to hold my tongue and be kind and to not be so quick to judge . A lesson I wish I had learnt 30 years ago and a lesson I am still learning as it is easy to divide the world in black and white .
Impermanence
A very Buddhist concept but everything is an illusion because we see the world in and through the prism of our mind. A faulty and unreliable machine. As such life is impermanent , we humans strive for stability , happiness and a good life. All concepts that have no meaning .
The true goal in Buddhism isn’t to achieve happiness. It’s to achieve liberation or freedom. Once you’ve come to understand that life is impermanent, you can transcend this pursuit of happiness and the constant running away from fear that is so common in our lives and learn to live by letting go. Letting go is the path to real freedom. Letting go of the idea that we are permanent and understanding that we are impermanent and death is a fantastic way to do this.
To practice death is to practice freedom. Yet, the only requirement to be happy is to be free. Happiness is the result, but happiness isn’t the goal, and there are two things we can confidently say about death. It is an absolute certainty that we will die, and it is uncertain when or how we will die.
The past is past and the future is not yet here, and even the present as we experience it, it becomes that past. Really, the only thing we really have is now. It is only when we believe things to be permanent that we shut off the possibility of learning from change. Sogyal Rinpoche says, “Life is nothing but a continuing dance of birth and death. It’s a dance of change.”
From Noah Rasheta Secular Buddhism
By understanding Impermanence and having that freedom we will be happier or really liberated.
There is the concept of the three poisons in Buddhism, which is thinking that there are things that if we can have, we’ll be happier. If there are things that we can avoid, we’ll be happy, and the third one is ignorance. It’s the ignorance of thinking that way.
The truth is that the present moment contains everything that is perfect
Milarepa, a famous Tibetan poet says, “My religion is to live and die without regret.”
In one of Noah Raheta's podcast . He sets out 11 tools :
The first one is meditation
The second tool is to be present. Meditation is the practice for being present. You know that feeling when someone has been talking to you then suddenly you realize, you actually haven’t been paying attention so you kind of have to pause and say, “Wait, say that again.” Yeah, this is the opposite of that. Being present is something that you do throughout the day all the time and you have to remember, and remembering is the trick
The third tool is to watch for distractions. We constantly have the urge to check e-mail, check social media.
Then fourth, we’re going to let go of all expectations and here’s the thing. We all have expectations all the time.Life is like a Tetris game and we need to quit playing it like it’s chess game
That leads us to the fifth tool, accepting people as they, accepting life as it is.
This kind of leads to the sixth tool, to learn to be okay with discomfort.
The seventh tool, watch your resistance. When you try to do something uncomfortable or you try to give up something, you’re going to find resistance, but you can just watch the resistance and be curious about it.
The eighth tool for mindful living is to be curious. See, too often, we’re just stuck in our ways and we think that we know how things should be. We know how people are, how people should be and instead of being curious in finding out, we need to allow ourselves to experiment and let go of what you think you know
he ninth step, is to learn to be grateful.
The tenth one is to let go of control.
the eleventh step. This to me is the most important one. It’s to learn to be compassionate.
Then from a different perspective there is an interesting interview by Rich Roll with Tommy Rivs about his dealing with cancer and his perspective of life . Not so much from a religious perspective but embracing some of the rules Noah set out for really accepting and living life fully .
Rich Roll podcast interview with Tommy Rivs , A poet of endurance and philosopher of the human spirit, Tommy is a
highly credentialed elite marathoner and ultrarunner with many victories
and accolades to his name.
Finally a Deepak Chopra interview in You Tube:
If I could sum up the year it was:
Firstly calming the mind by meditation
Learning to really embrace the moment
Living with Gratitude and Kindness
Being present not reactive
Not trying to be , letting go of desire.Whether it is to finish a race in a specific time or a material possession .
Not having ego.
Finally in the journey of meditation I come across a fair bit of Thich Nhat Hand's thoughts and articles and meditation practices On his 95th birthday Tryclce did a short piece titled
After Feral 100 miler ,I had a month of a slow recovery and then a start towards training for Delirious 200 miler.
There is the logistics to plan and the crew and that has been good.I made the decision to run delirious only a few weeks after Feral as I felt it was necessary to be calm , to work though the issues and most importantly the Why .That had changed from another challenge this past year to more a journey of discovery and an opportunity to experience the highs and lows and to embrace all the feelings and emotion both good and bad.
It is in a way a test of all that I have learnt but not a test to pass but to experience .To be in the moment and to enjoy in nature.
First 3 weeks was just walking for 30 minutes as I recovered /I had a good rest with lots of meditation that helped.Only casualties was 2 toe nails.
From the end of November I started back on a plan . First week in December I had 4 hours with 2 hours just on the bike path and then drove to Busselton to watch Ironman and on Sunday ran for 2 hours as well.
Following the first week the routine build has been a hill session and a speed session and an easy run and then long runs on the weekend with some walking on sand . It has been a nice easy build.
